PIERS FINISHED!!!

Today we finished our house foundations! 116 footings & brick piers all DONE!!! It was such an amazing feeling, to stand there in the middle of all those bricks! I took heaps of photos (will add when I have more time) & stood the kids on piers, until Ivy fell off. What a bad mum I am (Kim says i'm over-reacting). She whined & cried in pain for the rest of the evening, complaining of "an owie" in her arm. We'll see how she is tomorrow, hopefully just a sprain. It was hot, which we're not used to, & everyone was tired. but SO elated!

a well deserved beer

hooray!!!

hooray again (no wonder she fell!)

Christmas

This was Ivy's 2nd Christmas & Finn's 4th! It was good, although different this year. we decided to celebrate Christmas on December 21st this year, so that Chelsea & Brody could leave with Mario for the Woodford Folk Festival http://www.woodfordfolkfestival.com/ early (23rd).

We spent 3 nights at Mario's new house on Scotland island. Finn loved the boat rides, both the ferry & Mario's 'fast boat'. We took our new 2 man kayak down & he loved that too, until we put mum & dad in it with a toddler each on their laps & mum (to her shame!) capsized it. Well, it was VERY top heavy! Luckily Finn had a great time alone with dad paddling around & then another great time with Mum & Ivy, so he has some good kayaking memories, although they do seem to be the less memorable. We'll try again in a few weeks!







Brody received his new kayak that we were very proud to have picked up (in shabby condition) for $1 from a garage sale. Kim did a few minor repairs & spray painted it & it looked fabulous. Then on the big morning Brody opened his huge present & couldn't fit in it ) :
We think it must be a white water kayak, designed to be a snug fit & to be righted when rolled. We want him to be able to get OUT quickly. Especially after out little capsize with Finn & Ivy! We were out so quickly then that they hardly got their hair wet! So we are on the lookout for another one for Brody before he get's home from Queensland.


Ivy on the phone


Christmas lunch

happy birthday Brody

Today Brody turned 14. Definitely not a little boy any more, although it only seemed like yesterday that he was. He had a sleep in, we woke him with a chocolate croissant for breakfast followed by scrambled eggs with parsley (a favourite in our house). We then all went off to school to the end of year assembley to see Chelsea get her school certificate. I sat there with Ivy on the breast while Chelsea gave a speech, it was weird! She thanked her parents "all 3 of them"! I was proud!
Brody hadn't been to school since Bosun died, he was so upset we've let him take the rest of the year off, about the last 10 days of school. After school today he has taken the train with his group of friends to randwick for 2 nights where his friend Brenagh has moved. it's strange to not have him here for his birthday night but he's doing what he wanted & will be having heaps of fun. I took a chocolate mud cake to school for him to share with his friends.
We went to Sydney last night to get him & had a birthday dinner at Ibiza, one of his favourite restaurants in Avalon. It was a lovely night.


BRODY IS 14!!!


IVY & MARIO


WHAT A SHOW OFF!



ADORATION


FINN HAVING FUN WITH MARIO

CHELSEA & BRODY WITH THEIR DAD


THE BOYS



TRUE LOVE

Ivy

Ivy thought that Finn was getting too much attention. So she fell over in the local op shop & bashed her head against the floor. I heard the clunk as it hit. I turned, walked toward her as she screamed. Then she stopped. Everything. No screaming, no breathing. Limp in my arms. Only for about 15 seconds but way too long for any parent's liking. Ambulance was called. She breathed & stayed semi-conscious & sheet white for about 15 minutes & slowly came right. Ambulance arrived & they checked her over. Suggested a hospital visit. i chose to keep her calm & watch her but knew she was fine. I wasn't!
We've booked Finn in for a "screening" in early feb. His behaviors is getting more strange by the day I think, or is it my imagination? Am I looking for it? maybe, but I don't think so. Wouldn't kiss me goodnight tonight because he'd brushed his teeth & I hadn't. he's 3 years old for god's sakes.
He's always been great with food but he's starting to get fussy. Apples going too brown, that sort of thing. Wouldn't eat his peas tonight. He's always eaten peas. he's coming out with funny things. life revolves around boats. thank goodness for Duplo. dad makes great Duplo boats! he replicated the Scotland island rubbish boat tonight, to put Finn's rubbish truck on. Finally found his much awaited steering wheel, I think it's supposed to be a Duplo camp fire , bits of wood sticking out but looks like a steering wheel to me (wishful thinking?). Did the trick anyway. he's been hard today. needs company but won't play with kids! Dad's working, mum's trying, he wants us to play! the rain keeps coming, more fog & drizzle than rain today but not outside playing weather.
We had a good weekend. Found a 2 seater kayak at a garage sale. Finn almost wet himself with excitement. it's on the block & he goes fishing, ties it up at wharfs, takes ivy for rides, etc. he knows that we'll hit the water with it at Xmas. He asks questions every day, where, when , how. You'll hang on tight to ivy won't you mummy? he keeps life interesting but our days are SO intense. We managed 4 piers yesterday. i think that makes about 65 of 108. Slow going. Finn had to help, with his own trowel (said with a very round mouth). constant thinking of what he can do next. "what's next dad?", "what can I do now", over & over. don't bother trying to distracting him, a waste of time & energy & he might get insulted, then all hell breaks loose. he sees right through us, no fooling him.
Cannot toilet train him. ivy's pretty much there but he just refuses. Stayed in a poo for 2 hours today because he denied he'd done one & refused to lie down for me & I didn't have the energy to fight him. he wanted his train set & i said "only if I change your nappy". He went without his trains.
my mother tried to call tonight. Spoke to Chelsea for the 1st time this year but apparently didn't ask how she was, how her school certificate went or anything else. Then she proceeded to call Kim's mobile to let us know she got a letter from the bank saying our loan is in arrears. Our building loan is in their name until we are able to re-mortgage when the house is up. So they get all correspondence. I have no idea why it should be in arrears, we were at the bank about 3 weeks ago & all was fine & all payments have been made. It just irks me that my mother wants to call when she thinks we aren't paying a loan that's in her name but has no interest in calling to discuss creating an honest & respectful relationship. my stand in life is this, if it isn't good & healthy I want to change it & if that fails then I reject it. i am open to working on every relationship in my life if the effort is mutual. I believe the world would be a better place if we made a stand to reject the toxic relationships in our life & demand respect & a loving environment for our children. i won't ever talk to my parents unless they accept my request that we focus on improving our relationship. harsh? hardly. for the 1st time in my life I'm being kind to myself, demanding what it is that I need. it only took me 40 years! We're slow to learn & even slower to change, but I know we're all capable of it if we want it badly enough. My children deserve this change.

Finn's Poem

finn
I've always had a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right with our little boy Finn. He has always been different. But all my kids are "quirky". So at times I've just settled into thinking he is just part of my unusual but lovely family, keeping life interesting! Then other times I lay awake at night wondering what makes him tick, why he is so challenging in his ways. last week a friend mentioned, when I was venting my frustrations over his behaviour, the word "Asperger's".
When I got home I went online & started reading. I ticked all the boxes. Doesn't make friends or relate to his peers. Plays happily with older & younger siblings, older people in general who are familiar to him. Doesn't like change or upset to routine. Has intensely strong emotions. is highly intelligent with a very good vocabulary. Steers away from affection. Is highly imaginative & obsessive in his interests (boats at the moment). He worries about things that a 3 year old should even notice, eg Ivy going near the road or even that possibility will get him screaming in no time. He has peculiar obsessions with a variety of things, eg having to turn the TV off the instant a program has ended & if you try & stop him he will get extremely upset. If you promise him something he will never forget it. If he wants something he will never forget it until he gets it. E.G. wanted a violin for his 3rd birthday & talked about not much else for 2 months beforehand. Is clumsy & motor skills are somewhat delayed, walked at 16 months, still not riding a tricycle at 3 years 4 months. trips & falls constantly. Will often not listen, even when he asks a question, just repeats himself. Has irrational fears, The Hooley Dooleys, lately the Wiggles, he flips out if he knows Ivy is watching them, even if you offer him another activity in another room. They are "scary". I could go on but that covers most of it I think.
Where to go from here???
last night he made up a little poem:

Humpty Dumpty sat in a puddle

poor Humpty

Give him a cuddle

and a recent one of Ivy at the park

GOODBYE BOSUN BOY

This week our gorgeous dog Bosun left us.
He was with us for 9 years & was loved immensely. We are all in shock. He went to work with Chelsea & Brody's dad Mario, as he always does, on Wednesday this week but Mario hopped out of his car & forgot the dog. He is extremely busy this time of year, he is a yacht rigger. He has many big contracts leading up to Christmas & is always under pressure to get everything finished on time. Bosun spent the day in the car. He was still alive when Mario found him but he didn't make it. It had been hot. Telling Chelsea & Brody that news was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a parent. I had to wait for Kim to get home to take care of Finn & Ivy before I told them, I knew Chelsea & Brody were going to fall apart. He had to get all his tools packed away so it took him about half an hour to get home, such a long half an hour. Time seems to stand still in times like those.
We threw stuff into bags & were on the road to Sydney by 5. We went straight to the vets to say goodbye to him. That was so hard. he looked so fit & healthy & strong.
Mario was, of course, devastated. we stayed that night & the next, just crying & trying to come to terms with it. We have lost a family member.
I wish I'd taken more photos of him. 9 years of great memories will never leave us though. i miss him so much already.

the long hard haul

things are hard. really hard. it keeps on raining. It's very hard to build a house when it's raining. I know I shouldn't complain about rain but I want my house. I am so tired. The kids are hard too. They are so gorgeous & of course so very loved, but they need so much of our time. And yet I still feel like they are neglected due to our work. They watch about 4 times the amount of TV that I would be comfortable with. Just the Wiggles, Playschool, Postman Pat & the like, we're very selective on what they can watch, but they are addicted. especially ivy. She loves to watch TV. I think they love the fact that someone sings & dances for them for at least half an hour, often more! Mum & Dad never do that! They'd be lucky to get 15 of our time in a stretch. Sad but true.
My work is going well. We have moved Brody out to a Kombi in the driveway for the summer, so I got the big bedroom as a workroom. It's amazing. I have already filled it with all my stock & it's already looking like organised chaos but I am so much more efficient. We have taken on a nanny 2 days a week, Lucy, one of Chelsea's best friend's older sister (but also Chelsea's friend). She's 18 & has just finished her HSC. She's fabulous, the kids love her & she's so patient, even in the trying times. And she gets trying times. Like Finn insisting he eats the mango IN the supermarket, not in 10 minutes time at the park. When Finn insists he really insists. You couldn't believe it til you see it. Lately he's clenching his teeth & nearly hyperventilating when things aren't working out for him. He's waking too early & needs to sleep in the afternoon but if he does, which is rare, he doesn't go to sleep at night until 10pm. So we tolerate him, just. It's hard. He's a very intense little boy. Gee, I wonder where he gets that from??
I said work is good but I've just had an awful experience with a buyer who was just YUK!! I wish I could let those things jut wash over me but I am human & I am sensitive! I work so hard, I try & do the best thing by my customers & we barely make ends meet, so when someone calls me greedy for trying to the best of my ability to harmoniously finalise a sale it actually really hurts! She deserved negative feedback which she got from me, she then followed up with outrageous lies, so ridiculous that they didn't actually bother me. She then left me negative feedback which was very insulting but it was automatically removed because she didn't respond to my non paying bidder alert. But the ugly comments still stay & that hurts. Today I had a buyer want a refund for a Baby gap Pj they bought that was new but she expected it t be in a sealed plastic bag & it wasn't. I photographed it as it was, no bag, but because the previous Gap PJ's she'd bought on eBay were in bags she expected this to be. What do you do!?? I agreed to a refund.
What I really hate is when people aren't polite. They ask something of you as though it's their God given right but can't seem to take the time to be friendly & polite. What's going on in our world?! MOST people are great, thank goodness. But I'm sure the percentage that are rude & demanding is increasing. i have some wonderful regular customers who I feel like I know even though I have never met them & I love that. I really enjoy those relationships. But the bad eggs just do my head in. it's not that hard to be nice is it?? Apparently for some people it is.
Anyway, enough griping. Although I don't feel like doing much else these days. I'm pretty miserable to be around. I do wish I could manage a bit better, I should be pretty happy really. I have a wonderful partner who I love to death, 4 gorgeous, intelligent quirky kids, half an acre of the most beautiful bush land with the makings of a home to die for. But I work my butt off, from 6.30am to midnight 5 days a week every spare moment is spent on my computer, taking photos or packaging things. I breastfeed & address envelopes at the same time. I have my morning cup of tea & toast while I answer emails. I create listings while I talk on the phone. I constantly find distractions for the kids so I can keep on working. I sell about $1000 worth of clothing every week. I'd be proud of that if I did it while my kids are at school. But 2 of them are at home with me. I don't feel proud of what I'm doing to them. If only we could get some help to get this house up.

ABOVE GROUND

I can't believe it's been nearly 2 months since my last post??!! Where does the time go?
People always ask, "how's the house going?" & we always say "great", "good", "OK", or however else it's been going but the fact is it's going SLOWLY!!!
Trying to build a house at the same time as make a living from home to cover both rent & a mortgage, AS WELL AS parenting a 1.5 & 3 year old & a 13 & 16 year old , well, all I can say is "what were we thinking?". No regrets, far from it, but it is soooo hard.
To make matters worse, Ivy has slowly shifted her waking schedule to begin at 5.15am. Like clockwork. So night time work has all but ceased, I just fade at about 9.30pm these days. Which means I need to work during the day, with 2 toddlers to keep busy at the same time. Kim tries to take them to the block sometimes but then he get's very little done. So we either build a house & go broke or pay the bills & make painfully slow progress on the house. We'd love to just borrow an extra $10 000 to cover bills for a few months, then I could slow down with work & just be Mum & Kim could soldier on & build this house. But the banks won't come to the party. Our accounts aren't impressive enough for them, so struggle on we will. We are getting there, we've taken on a nanny 2 days a week so I can work more. Lucy is an 18 yr old friend of Chelsea's from the circus group they are in, Finn & Ivy know her & look forward to their days with her.
At the block we have finally gone above ground & we have piers! They should be done by the end of next week, 108 of them. Then Kim gets to start playing with timber!! The weather has finally warmed up so that has made things a lot easier too. I hope things will start to progress at a faster rate now.
Finn & Ivy have had a cold for about 3 weeks now. It has gone to Finn's chest & he's not shaking it. Fever is going up & down & we've all had a strange rash, especiallyIvy. So we're off to the naturopath/herbalist tomorrow.
I don't get nearly enough time for my photos (apart from ebay ones!), I still haven't even touched on the workings of my new camera. It is great for my ebay pics, so, so much faster & the quality is great but I am not always happy with the accuracy of colours. Would like to figure that out.
The slideshow I added a few posts back doesn't seem to work??
Here are a few of the favourites I've taken so far:

You know what I mean?


Ivy at the park

Finn -Blackheath

little Lily -I love this pic!

Luca - love this one too!


Ivy modelling Baby Lulu


and again



Finally completed the footing holes & starting the retaining wall at the back of the house. Time to BUILD!!!!!







duck at the lake, wentworth falls


wildman


duck feeding


wentworth falls lake


Ivy at Cirquinox, getting into the spirit of things



checking out the talent



I'm so cool



Fire twirling at McCarrs Ck, Full Moon drumming







summer is here-well spring!


yum!!